Triple McKenna

This has been a big week for my eldest so I am writing about her again. She had her end-of-the-year program the other night and she shined.  McKenna had a poem solo and did a great job. This is the first year she has participated. We have boycotted the event in the past because they do not allow younger siblings.  How absurd is that?  They would rather have parents not come than risk a crying baby.  Before this, McKenna didn't care either way.  This year she did.  So we went. She looked beautiful and enjoyed seeing the other kids all dressed up and out of uniform.

 This was also McKenna's last week of school and it was bittersweet.  She will not be returning to Rise Academy next year.  Instead, she will be attending a different charter school (she'll go from being the only White girl in a Black class to being the only White girl in a Latino class).  I had lunch with her on her last day and took some pictures of her friends. She has been with some of these kids for three years, which for McKenna is almost her entire life as she remembers it. She is really excited about the change.  She will definitely miss her friends, but not the school.  She left Rise for the last time without even looking back. I am taking this as a good sign since Ryan is in the Army now and McKenna will need to be comfortable with change.

She's Got Double Vision

We have known for a while that McKenna may need glasses. Her vision has tested low in her right eye for about a year and a half. The eye doctor said that since it was only a little bit in one eye she would be fine for a while. He tries not to give small children glasses unless they really need them. After a well-check in April and her telling me that sometimes she sees double, it was decided by her pediatrician and I that she needed to be checked again. Sure enough it had come to the point of really needing glasses.

McKenna had mixed feelings about this. Like any kid, I think she was afraid of being teased at school. But at the same time she was a bit excited at the idea of getting something new and special.

We had a mommy daughter date and went glasses shopping. We didn't really find anything we liked at the first store. But at the second she found several that she loved. I tried to give her gentle guidance but I wanted her to pick out what ever she wanted so that she would feel pretty and be excited to wear them. After narrowing down to three pairs she ended up picking the ones that I would have picked. She has good taste.

She has been wearing them for several days now and really loves them. She was amazed at how much it changed how she sees. She doesn't have to wear them all the time but she chooses to anyway. She really notices a difference when the takes them off. I am proud of how well she is taking care of them and I think (if she follows in her mothers foot steps) she will have a life time of wearing them.

The Award for Worst Mom of the Day Goes too....

I messed up in a big way today. There was guilt and tears, gifts to over compensate and by the end forgiveness and smiles. It was rough.

Long story short I forgot McKenna's award ceremony. I had confused the days in my head and thought it was on Thursday when in fact it was on Wednesday. I figured out my mistake about 10 min before it was time to pick her up at the end of the day. I cried. I just pictured her sitting there looking for me and Ryan waiting for us to show up, and we never did.

You have to remember that I am an over involved mother. I am at all the holiday parties, field trips and have never missed an award ceremony. She has come to count on me being there for all events, so when I didn't show, she cried.  Just to throw salt on the wound, this was the first award ceremony that Ryan would have been able to go to, ever. I cried more.

I went to school early for pick up so I could take some pictures of McKenna and Ms. Turney with the awards. I walked into the room, desperately trying to keep myself together, and see McKenna. She gives me a huge smile and waves. I feel a little better. I tell Ms. Turney (who I have befriended) what happened and tear up in the process. Once McKenna is dismissed to get her things she runs to get her backpack and show me what she got. She very proudly pulls out 3 medals. I lose it and have to cover my face, I am doing the ugly cry. I recover in about 3 seconds and give her my biggest smile and tell her how proud I am of her. We hug. Tears and streaming and guilt and disappointment are abundant.

The medals are a big deal. Only one kid in the class will get a medal for any given subject. McKenna got Best Orator (for memorizing and reciting poetry), Best Reader, and Best Computer student. I am so sad that I missed hearing what the teachers had to say as they presented McKenna with her hard earned medals. I know how wonderful she is but I still love to hear others say it as well.

When she got home and showed Ryan. I felt bad again cause he missed it.

We had to make this up to her. So I told her we would have what ever she wanted for dinner since it's her special day. She said Applebees without hesitation so thats what we did. She likes to go and eat at fancy places. She considers anyplace that is not fast food to be fancy. After dinner we went to Coldstone and got some fancy cookie-ice-cream sandwiches. We saved the day.

She is so happy to have gotten so many medals and she knows how proud we are of her. She did not take my mistake nearly as hard as I did. (still am)

P.S. you will notice that McKenna is wearing glasses in the photo. She got them 2 days ago. That was supposed to be my next blog but then this happened. I will explain the glasses next.

Ballenger Builder

As the end of the school year is upon us, it is time for the award ceremony. I have two ceremonys that I will be attending this week. I went to Evan's today and will have McKenna's on Thursday.
I love to hear how wonderful my kids are. Its great when I can see that someone else loves and enjoys having them around. Makes me feel like I might be doing an ok job raising them.
After I endured hearing about the other kids in the class, (unless I know the kid it feels like time wasted hearing about them) Ms. Mueller got to Evan. She didn't say much about any of the kids, including him, but he got "Ballenger Builder" (Ballenger is the name of the school). She said that during free play he always goes to the building stuff and makes wonderful things everyday. I know Evan loves to play with legos, blocks, and anything else he can stack, so it was no surprise to me that he was singled out for this.
Evan did a good job singing the songs during their little performance. He was very proud of his builder award and loved showing off Alana to all his friends. Alana was in heaven playing with the puzzles and she really loved sitting at the table with the big kids. This little girl doesn't want to be a baby anymore.

YEA, for my Evan!!!

Date Night Rocks!

My husband and I have had more dates in the last two years then all our previous married years combined. How do they do that on a grad students income, you ask. I will share the secret: Trading Babysitting. It sounds so simple, I know. I just wish I had learned of it sooner. So many years of missed date night! (fists in the air) There are, however, a few elements involved in Trading Babysitting so it may not work out for all.


1. Have the right schedule. Not everyone can count on having every Friday night off of work. We have been lucky that Ryan is always done at around 5pm.


2. Have friends you trust. That's a no brainer.


3. Friends should have kids compatible with your own. This part can be a bit more tricky. If all works out these kids will see each other every Friday night so they need to be happy about who they are playing with. Its good to have a mix of boys and girls so no one is left out. Also, be aware of the ages. No kid wants to be suck playing with someone 3 years younger than them. Its a big deal when your six. 


4. Have more that one set of friends. This is the key to making it all so great. If there are 3 families then each couple gets 2 dates for one night of babysitting. Genius! I know. I suppose you could add as many families as you want, so long as your willing to watch all those kids.


Our current situation is great. We are in a group with two other families.


Graham        Munk        Ashton
Girl - 6                           Girl - 8                    Girl - 6
Boy - 4                          Boy - 5                    Girl - 4
Girl - 1                           Girl - 3                    Girl - 2
                                     Boy - 1                   Boy - 4 mon


Everyone is really happy right now. Unfortunately for us the Munks are moving away in June. We are going to be very sad to see them go. So we are now on the hunt for another family. Hopefully one with some boys.


Ryan and I have really, really loved being able to spend so much time together. Grad school is stressful at times, so Ryan looks forward to Friday every week because that is the one night he allows himself to forget about work. We get a chance to talk and catch up on things that happened during the week. I tell him about events that happened with the kids and he fills me in on whats happening at school/work. A lot of the time we will just daydream about our future, the "someday" house, car, vacation, job. That is one thing that Ryan and I have always been really good at doing, talking to each other. I love it.


Our dates vary according to what is going on. We go out to eat or catch movie. (We have become a lot pickier about what we are willing to spend $20 so see in theater.)  We have had the occasional picnic when dinner out is not in the budget. There are a few museums that we go to very couple of months when the art is rotated out. Of course there is shopping but we try not to do that too often. It's to easy to buy things we don't really need. Our favorite thing to do currently is hang out at Barnes and Noble. We both love to read so we will stroll around and find books that we can later get at the library. Plus the hot chocolate at the Starbucks is pretty good. 


As we move and our children get older it may become harder to find other families that would want to do a "group". But for now I am really having a lot of fun and I sure love my husband. Life is good. :)

FFAT

The "First Friday Art Trail" in Lubbock makes for a fun evening. On the first Friday of every month several businesses in the downtown area display art from local artists. The trail runs from 6pm-9pm but there are more locations than one can see in that time. We, as a family, have done this several times while we have lived here. The kids love it. There are sometimes little crafts or activities for them to do, like roasting marshmallows over propane-powered flame pits. I'd like to think that we are raising our kids to enjoy art.  If nothing else, we all get some good exercise walking around (except Alana of course, who rides in style).

 I don't have an artistic bone in my body.  But I love to see what others can do. It's amazing to me what people can create. My husband, however, was very artistic growing up and comes from a very artistic family. I am hoping that my kids will discover they have this talent and then cultivate it.  Sometimes we have to cover their eyes in front of certain pieces that are perhaps good art, but not appropriate for children.

This last weekend we took the kids and went on the FFAT. The kids were relatively well behaved (meaning Evan only threw rocks at an art booth one time) and we found a few pieces that we really liked. Ryan and I have lofty dreams of being art collectors someday. We currently have one piece. We prize that piece over anything we could ever possibly own, because Ryan's mother painted it. He remembered watching her paint it when he was younger and knew that it had been stuck away somewhere. Years later he told her that he really loved it. She gave it to us for Christmas the first year we were married (2001). It has hung in our living room ever since (and probably will forever). We have had many people comment on it over the years. We are both very proud when we tell them who the artist is.

This time, on the FFAT, Ryan found a sculpture that he really loved. It is a bearing and a transmission gear welded to a small axle. Simple, I know, but it struck him right. The price was really good so I bought it for him. It was a big treat for us. We never actually buy anything. But this time we did. Evan accidentally knocked it over and broke all the welds after being home for 10 minutes (I hope we can fix it).

Mother's Day Shoes

My Mother's Day was really great this year. It all started on Thursday. I had a coupon for $15 off at DSW (a big shoe store) that I needed to use. Ryan was off that day and so he came along with me. I walked into the glorious bounty and was overjoyed at what I might find. Hundereds and hundreds of shoes to choose from. How ever will I decide?!

I had an idea in my head of what I wanted. Something summery and brown, but not casual. I never really found what I pictured but I did find plenty of willing replacements.

The first pair I found are the gray ones pictured above. They were not the color I wanted but they were so cute and very stylish. They were on sale for $39.94, down from $50.00. But there was also an additional %40 off. Final price: $23.97

Ryan found the second pair, pictured to the right. He went deep into the trenches of the super clearance racks and found these gems. They are his favorites, and by far the best deal ever. Original retail price on these shoes is $115.00. DSW was selling them for $69.94 with an additional %80 off. Final price: $13.99

With my $15 coupon I got both pairs of shoes for $24.13 including tax. A total savings of $142. How awesome was that!

I jokingly informed Ryan that now I needed new clothes to go with my fabulous new shoes. With out skipping a beat he said "I'm good with that. You never treat yourself to nice things." So with that I picked McKenna up from school and the two of us went and had some "girl time" shopping. It was a lot of fun and I got a new church outfit.

Mothers Day Morning

We don't have church until 2:30pm so Ryan let me sleep in. After I awoke I was treated to breakfast in bed and lots of cuddles from all my babies. Ryan cleaned the living room and the kitchen and also managed the kids so I could take as long as I wanted to get ready for church. I got all dolled up in my new outfit and shoes. (forgot to take a picture, sorry) We went to church and the kids behaved, even Alana. I spent the 3rd hour at a brunch that the Relief Society put on, visiting with some new friends. After church we were invited to a big dinner that our friends were putting on. So I didn't even have to cook! It was great.

Now at the end of the day I am feeling loved, beautiful and full. Can't ask for anything more than that.

Toothless

Our sweet McKenna has lost another tooth. Finally after 5 months her first front tooth is coming in. Just in time for her to lose her second.

She decided that she needed to wash her newly lost tooth, despite my warning her not too, and lost it down the sink. We figured that maybe if she wrote the tooth fairy a note and explained what happened she might still get her dollar. It worked. Though, the tooth fairy did consider leaving her 50 cents and a response telling her next time she should listen to her mother. She is kind of a smart lady.

I guess we will leave the life lessons for anther day and enjoy the fruits of being toothless.

5 LBS

5 lbs is the difference between my size 8s or my size 6es

5 lbs is the difference between my fat suit from last summer or my cute tankini

5 lbs is the difference between feeling fat in my clothes or feeling cute and skinny

For being such a small number it's both hard to reach and makes a huge difference.

My School Experience

There is one thing that most all parents feel very strongly about; their children's education. We all have opinions about what is better and what doesn't work. Every child learns differently and will react different to the classroom. I think a parent really gets to know more about their child once that kid starts school. I know I did.

My journey with schools, as a parent, started when McKenna was almost three. She is an extremely social girl. Has been from day one. So the summer she turned 3 I knew I needed to get her out of the house and into a preschool. In her opinion, there were not enough kids at home to play with. That summer I sent her to a 2 days-a-week summer program. It only lasted 2 months, but it was the perfect introduction to the school environment. In the fall she started at Headstart.

Headstart was a great program. She didn't learn her ABC's or do anything academic but she did learn about safety, health and how to play well with others. It was also good for me. I realized that I am a very involved mother. I learned all the others kids' names so I would know who McKenna was talking about and I volunteered whenever I could. I really liked this about myself but secretly wondered if it was just because my first baby was in her first year of school and I was having attachment issues.

When that year was over we moved to Texas. We were only in town for a week when McKenna asked when she could start her new school. I was really worried about finding one for her. No way could we afford to send her to a private preschool and Headstart was already full for the start of the year. She really, really needed this and I was afraid I would have to break her heart.

We came home from shopping, after living here for a week and a day, to find a flyer for Rise Academy. The flyer said they were opening up a new Pre-k class and it was free. I called immediately. I couldn't believe my luck not only was this a free preschool but it was a Charter school. Ryan and I are very passionate about Charter schools.

Rise Academy turned out to be a very fast paced academic program. Mckenna had homework 3 days a week and had poems she had to memorize and recite every two weeks. She excelled. In fact she won a medal for "Best Orator" (public speaker). I was very proud of her and so happy that I stumbled onto this school.

Her kindergarten year went almost as well. About halfway through the year she started having problems. She wasn't finishing her seat work. Seat work is a packet of papers that the kids need to work on and complete while the class is splitting off into their reading groups. So minus the time she spent in her reading group she had 90 minutes to complete about 12-15 pages. It came to the point that she never finished her packet. The teacher didn't make too much fuss about it because it's not graded and McKenna clearly knew the material. She just couldn't motivate herself to get it done on time. But, at the end of the year, she once again won the Best Orator. She was so proud of herself. There are only 5 medals given out for different things, so to be one of the kids that gets one is pretty special. She also left kindergarten reading at a 2nd grade level.

This school year (2009-2010) has had some ups and some really big downs.

Evan was now old enough to start Pre-k at Rise. Ryan and I really struggled with whether or not to send him there. We wanted him to have two years of preschool and start Kindergarten right after turning six. He is an active boy and has a hard time listening, he is also a follower. He will do anything that someone else does first even when he knows he shouldn't do it. He will be much better off socially and academically if he is an older boy in the class. So knowing that Rise expects their students to sit still and listen as well as finish their work, I was worried about Evan. It turns out I was right to worry. He was only in the program for 2 weeks when there started to be a problem.

Evan was very well behaved. He was polite and respectful but, like McKenna, he couldn't finish his work. It's not like it was a 12 page packet. In pre-K they only had two pages. One to color and one was tracing lines. He was given 15-20 min to do these pages. When they were not done independently he would have to spend the beginning of lunch with the teacher sitting in front of him until he finished. There were days when he brought the rest of his lunch home because he only had time to eat his sandwich. I was NOT okay with this. He began to wake up and tell me he didn't want to go to school anymore. (Mind you, this is only the 3rd week) When I asked him why, he would tell me that he wasn't any good at school, "I always mess up", and the teacher yelled at him all the time. This was heartbreaking to hear and after discussion and prayer Ryan and I decided to pull Evan from the program. I didn't see the situation getting better, only worse. Nothing, not even education, is worth destroying the self esteem of a 4-year-old. He stayed home for a few months until I enrolled him into Headstart. He loves it and is doing really well. Next year he will attend a private pre-K program.

McKenna's 1st grade year was a little better but also required a lot of prayer to get through. She was showing problems with seat work right from the start only this year they were not going to let it slide. If she didn't get it done everyday she had Saturday school (8-10am) to work on it. She has had Saturday school every weekend since October. I started talking to her teachers about McKenna possibly having ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Ryan had mentioned it one night over dinner when I was stressing out and on the verge of tears about what I could do to help her. (neither reward nor punishment seemed to make achange) My immediate response was that McKenna is not hyperactive, she does not have this. But he explained to me that sometimes the child is not hyperactive but inattentive. Translation, she can't focus on something for a long period of time. Her brain will wander and she is unable to block out ANY background noise or distraction. There are many other symptoms (that I will talk about in another post) but this is the one that affects her the most right now. After months of struggling with doctors, medicaid, waiting rooms and child therapists, someone officially diagnosed her with ADHD, inattentive subtype.

During all this time I didn't feel that she was getting the support and understanding she needed from her school. Her teacher is great but her hands were tied by school policy and McKenna suffered for it. After much prayer, temple attendance and discussion. Ryan and I decided to move her to another school. Next Fall she will attend Jose Ramirez, a Magnet school that will focus on teaching the sciences. She will have Art, P.E., hot lunch and many other learning experiences that she has not had yet. I feel that Rise was a good place for her to be in the early years of learning. She is reading at a 4th grade level and doing 3rd grade math. She has all the foundations required to be really successful at any school. Now I want her to have some fun while she is learning.

A VERY long story short - Know your kids. Know how they learn best and pay attention so you can know if something is off with them. If you live in a place that has options, then check out different schools. There are so many choices these days.

I know I have at least two kids with ADHD. (I don't need a Dr to tell me that Evan has it.) We have many years of school struggle ahead of us. But I feel that we all learned a lot this year.

Good Fun

We have had a wonderful Saturday.

We spent the morning at a baptism. McKenna's very good friend, Julia, was baptized. We are good friends with the family so it was a sweet experience for all of us. The spirit was strong and it made me think about how McKenna will be old enough for baptism next year. She is ready and excited but it's hard for this Momma to believe that she is almost of age.

When the baptism festivities were over we went to the Science Spectrum. (The Science Spectrum is a great interactive children's museum.) We went there to sign the kids up for summer camps.

McKenna is doing a Jr. Medical camp where she will learn about the body and get to tour an ambulance. She is really excited. At this point in life she wants to be a doctor.

Evan is doing a Lego building camp. He is going to learn how to build things and how to make your imagination in to Lego art. He is very excited because he loves Lego.

When we got there we found a summer activity fair going on. It was fun. There were lots of balloons and candy to be had. The kids also were able to get there faces panted and it was all for free. Yea, for free!