The First Time We Got Married

I am a bit embarrassed to tell this story but since it involves our/my first kiss it needs to be included.

After our breakup we continued to be friends the same as before. We were in the same ward so we saw each other at Young men/Young woman activities every Wednesday and at church on Sunday. I am sure it was awkward for a bit, but I honestly don't remember. I do know that I still liked him and I wanted to see him and hang out with him. I was very confused.

A few months later the Summer came. My little sister Rebecca was baptized and my parents had a party at our house afterward. Since Ryan's dad was the bishop of our ward he was there along with our family-friends the Tollivers. So, Ryan and Corey were there.

Corey was always causing trouble. He took joy out of putting people in awkward situations. Ryan and I were not safe, even if we were his closest friends. We were all hanging out in my garage messing around with stuff. Corey had the idea that Ryan and I should get pretend married. He was still trying to get us together and I am sure he saw his idea as a way to get us to kiss, and maybe back together. I thought the idea was stupid. We were thirteen, after all, I stopped playing 'pretend married' when I was seven. But, Corey was insistent when he wanted something and would not stop until he got it. After enough pressure Ryan and I gave in. Corey "marries" us and says "You may kiss the bride".

We kiss. It was great and I was totally embarrassed.

In enters Ryan's dad. We weren't' busted or anything but Ryan did have to leave immediately because his dad was having an allergic reaction to our house cats. Ryan was pretty bummed about that.

I have no recollection of what happened next but I can tell you that we did not get together. This was the first kiss, the second would not come for another few years.

Almost 24 Hours "Together"

 My feeling for Ryan as a thirteen year old were VERY confusing. When I was not around him I liked him a lot. I thought about him and wrote his name in my notebooks (with a heart around it). I told my friends that I liked him. I even went a bit "weird" and carved his initials into my ankle. Strange, I know, but that is what all the girls were doing with the initials of the boys they liked, and I was a bit of a follower.  However, when we were actually around each other he kind of bugged me. I could never really put my finger on it. He was totally cute. We had a lot in common, but there was something about his mannerisms that bothered me. I almost always left him feeling annoyed and angry. As you can imagine that did not make for a good relationship.

Despite all the up and down of emotion (on my part), we made a go of it. We were in 7th grade and 13 years old. We spent a lot of time talking on the phone in those days. We would talk for hours. On the phone we were great. I couldn't actually see him doing annoying things so we were awesome together. We both knew that we liked each other and we decided to "go out". I remember feeling very excited about it as I went to bed that night. I was nervous about seeing him the next day, but an excited nervous.

We didn't share any classes that year, but there were different times when we would see each other in the halls. There was one class period that our rooms were next to each other. We would meet and then walk down the hall to our lockers. On that fateful day things went bad. After we met up and started walking. Ryan put his arm around my shoulder and strutted down the hall. That may sound innocent but I didn't think so. I remember thinking, "Who does he think he is! Putting his arm round me like he owns me. Like I am his property that he can lord over!". I was SOOOOO annoyed.

I was a very independent girl. I was raised to be tough and self reliant. I didn't like boys to open doors for me or pay for me. I was perfectly capable of doing that for myself, thank you very much. I didn't exactly have the best attitude.

That night I had my best friend call him and break up with him for me. Crappy, I know.

I think things may have gone differently if he had held my hand instead.

Valentine's Day Fun

Just some photos of Evan's Valentines party at school. He had a lot of fun. There was good food and he got to sit next to his best friend, Joe.

 Parents were invited to come and stay for the party. We all pitched in and put it all together. I brought the chips. I think it was a fantastic team effort.

 Alana came along and was really good for me. She stayed over in the corner and played with the baby dolls and toy kitchen. She ate her snack at the play table with her baby in the high chair next to her. She got lots of "oh how cute" from the other moms.

 When I asked to take her picture she squatted down and gave me her silly "picture smile". When I asked her to stand up and show me her V-day shirt she gave me the goofiest look. I loved it. She has a thing with half closing her eyes lately. 

 The other day Evan had a play-date with Joe (pictured above). I told him before he left, to go to Joe's house, "Make sure you are nice. You love Joesph and you need to be play good with him". Evan gave me a "your crazy" look and said "Boys don't love. They only love there Moms not other boys". Oops...sorry.

 My cute babies at Walmart after picking up McKenna.

We go to drink out of fancy glasses for our fancy Valentines dinner. I started the night with five. We ended dinner with three. Good thing they are cheap.

Feeding Our Mental Fires

The other day our family was riding in the van on our way to a friend's house.  For reasons that escape me, we started talking about how people keep learning as grownups, even after they leave school.  Evan, who equates learning with school, was quite astonished by the concept of 'life lessons'.  McKenna, being the older and therefore all-knowing sibling, began to explain how important it is to keep learning all the time.  She decided to relate an analogy from her beloved second-grade teacher.

"Mrs. Smith says that our minds are like a fire.  And we have to keep putting wood into our fire so that it can keep burning.  So knowledge is like wood.  We keep putting knowledge in our minds and the fire gets bigger.  More wood makes a bigger fire.  Understand?"

Evan reflected on that for a moment before saying, "If you burn trash, it makes a big fire."

Outraged, McKenna almost shouted, "Knowledge is not trash!"

Evan looked at her and shrugged.  "Just sayin' . . . trash does make a pretty big fire."

Ryan and I laughed for a good long while over that one.

Climbing For His Love

A couple of months after we met Ryan remembers the exact moment when he realized that he "had the hots" for me.

My father is a pilot. He has owned an airplane for almost as long as I can remember. Out at the airport (in our hometown) there are huge hangars that private pilots can rent to keep their planes in. My father had one for many years and I spent a lot of time out there with him, playing around while he worked on stuff. One of the really fun things that we did was - ride the door. The hangars have huge mechanical doors that fold in half while they are rising. They fold in a way that if you stand on the edge while the door goes up then you can hang out up there in the open space. We often rigged a rope to the door, rode it up, and rapelled down. During one such event I missed the door ride so I grabbed the rope and climbed it hand over hand to the top of the door (I was a rock climber so I had pretty good upper body strength). I often pulled stunts like this. I liked showing off for the boys and proving myself "equal", if you will. That was the moment that Ryan really took notice of me and thought I was someone worth being around. I guess my "showing off" worked.

With out knowing it Ryan was now headed down a path with many years of confusion, happiness and heart ache. It turned out fantastic in the end but it was a rough road.

Our First Meeting

I am really bad a remembering things. Details come and go and I don't have any really early memories of Ryan.
There are some things that we both remember together and some stuff that we have helped each other recall. Our first meeting is one that I have no recollection of. Ryan remembers it, not because it was a grand encounter but because I made a bit of an impression on him.

We met at some point in 1990. We were both 11 years old and in 6th grade. But before we get to the meeting I need to give a tiny bit of back story.

My family was really good friends with another family, the Tollivers. The dads got along great. They both had the same hobbies and the moms bonded over church and raising kids. They had four kids, like us, three boys and a girl. I come from four girls. The ages of all the kids were one year apart (the youngest two were the same age). On the outside it was a perfect family-friends match up and it worked really well for a long time. We spent every Thanksgiving and Easter together. We went camping in the summer and spent a many a weekend hanging out. At some point Ryan became friends with the oldest boy, Corey. They were practically joined at the hip for many years so it was only a matter of time before Ryan and I crossed paths. But in addition to that when my family moved across town we ended up in the same ward at church. So the fates would have had us meeting young either way.

One night Ryan came over to my house with Corey and his father. The dads were doing something and the boys tagged along to hang out. My best friend Abby was over and we were hanging out in the front yard. Ryan remembers thinking to himself "Wow, Corey knows cute girls". I tore into Corey about something that I was mad at him for. I was never one to be intimidated by him (or any other boy). Ryan took notice of me. Not in a "I better watch out for that girl" kind of way. More like "That was pretty cool". People didn't stand up to Corey. I was probably one of the only ones who really did when we were younger. That's probably why he didn't destroy me as he did so many others. But that is another story.

Ryan didn't fall for me that first meeting but, it wouldn't take long before I made a lasting impression.

My Love Story

This month Ryan and I will share our 10 year wedding anniversary. I am very excited about this not because I am at all surprised that we made it, but because every year with him gets better and better. I know, I know, insert cheesy "ahh" here but it's true and you better get used to it because I am dedicating the majority of my posts this month to "our story".

Most family and friends know this story. We had a turbulent courtship that, I suppose, spanned 10 years. We were very young and the feelings were very confusing (on my part anyway). When it came down to being serious we had a whirlwind one week in Hawaii and decided to get married. The result has been a blissful 10 years of marriage and 3 wonderful kids.

That is the long story short.

I am going to tell the long story long.....