My extremely heath conscious brother-in-law specifically asked me for this recipe. If a man who watches his health as much Jason does asks for a cookie recipe, then you know it's really good.
Loaded Peanut Butter Cookies (picture pending)
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup peanut butter
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder (I use the dark chocolate kind)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I use dark chocolate)
1 cup peanut butter chips
1 cup Reese's Pieces (I use the tiny baking kind, but you can use regular size as well)
1 package of mini Reese's peanut butter cups cut in half and frozen (Make sure you cut them BEFORE you freeze them.)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
In a large bowl or stand mixer, cream together the butter, peanut butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine the flour, cocoa, and baking soda; stir into the peanut butter mixture. Mix in the chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, and Reese's Pieces. (Mix the Pieces in my hand or the shells will get cracked and busted up in the mixer.)
Drop by tablespoonfuls onto cookie sheets. Push one frozen peanut butter cup half into the center of each ball of dough. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. (I lean to the 8 min side. I like them gooey.) Let cool for a few minutes on the cookies sheet before moving, or they will fall apart.
Credit for this recipe does to my friend April Ashton. This will be one of my top 5 favorite sweets for a very long time.
Enjoy, and let me know what you think when you try it....cause you know you will. :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Zoo Was A Zoo
I decided during last year's Spring Break that this year I really wanted to have a true family vacation. I LOVE to go see my family and spend time with my sisters (that's what we did last year), but I felt that we needed to see a bit of Texas before we leave. Since seeing Texas in the Summer is asking for heat stroke, I figured Spring Break is our chance.Originally I wanted to go to Dallas and spend the whole week exploring the city. Ryan's schedule and lack of funds cut that down to three days. I did a ton of research and looked at a lot of things to do. The number one thing on my list was to go to the zoo. My kids have never been to a zoo. Everyone we talked to said that the zoo we needed to go to was in Fort Worth. Apparently it's way better than Dallas. So, we switched things up.
Ryan took the last half of the week off from the VA. We got the kids up and loaded into the car at 4:30am on Wednesday morning and headed out. The plan was to drive straight to the zoo and have a day full of family fun. That is pretty much how it worked, despite the obstacles. Our first hiccup came when we got the kids settled into the van and the DVD player was not working. OK, well, they can last a 4.5 hour trip, right? They should sleep most of the time anyway, right? Well, they did pretty good. They didn't sleep nearly enough, but oh well.
Our second hiccup came when we were about a mile from the zoo and found ourselves in a very long line of cars. We had no idea what was going on but traffic into the zoo was so heavy that they had the Forth Worth police there directing. Surely all these people aren't going to the zoo. There must be something extra going on. Turns out the something extra was half price day at the zoo.
It was very crowded. We pushed on with our plans because the kids were so hyped up and excited. They wouldn't notice all the people anyway. Ryan and I kept our cool in the crowds (I'm the one to worry about) and focused on the kids and having fun with them. Besides waiting in line for over an hour to get some burgers at lunch, it wasn't too bad.
McKenna's favorite animal was the gorilla (same as Ryan). Evan loved the snake exhibit and Alana reacted most to the zebras. She shouted "horse, horse" and wooed the grandma standing next to us. I liked the huge tortoise, myself. It was pretty amazing to see one that large.
The kids got glitter tattoos (their one extra thing) and were very good about not asking for anything else. I made it very clear from the start that I was not there to buy them toys and candy.
All and all, it was a fantastic trip and I would gladly do it again - just not on half price day.
Enjoy the photos.
 |
| You can see the tortoise in the background. |
 |
| Alana has been doing a crazy eye thing in every photo lately. |
 |
| Very cool fish tanks. |
 |
| These two are so cute. Ryan had to sneak a photo. |
 |
| Ryan took this photo. Surprised? |
We forgot to get a family photo. : (
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Dora Birthday
My baby girl is two on March 16. I can't believe how fast these two years have gone by. It seems like I was just pregnant with her.
She is currently totally into Dora the Explorer so we went Dora crazy and had so much fun.
She is currently totally into Dora the Explorer so we went Dora crazy and had so much fun.
I forgot to get a picture of the cake before hand, but you get the idea.
Evan and his sweet lips.
Alana got a Dora play tent...
and a doll.
There will be lots of fun had in this new tent.
Happy birthday, Baby Girl, we love you so very much!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Loaves of Gratitude
I started locally. I looked around and thought about the ones that I see often and the ones that I don't get to see any more and miss. I looked at women both in my church and not. I found them at the gym, in my daughter's school, my husband's job, and in my book group. I made a dozen loaves of little banana breads and started to make my list. I started with the loaves so I would know how many I could give. I began to realize that my list was longer than my pile of bread.
Almost every note started with "This is my loaf of gratitude". Then I listed the things that I was grateful for when I thought of them - things like how they teach their children well, or how happy I am that they came into my life. Some are fierce examples of strong independence and talent. Some are pursuing dreams that I hope to do myself someday. Others I thanked for simply being them - a friend I could count on at any time.
Writing the notes was so much fun. It's rare that I get a chance to think about a person and put into words what I feel about them. It's easy to say that I like someone, but when I have to really say why, I start to like them even more. I start to realize things that I haven't thought of before. It makes me appreciate them even more.
The best part about this whole experience was how I made them feel. When I started this, it was for me. I needed to evaluate who I was and who I wanted to be. We do that by looking at the people around us. I wanted these women to know that they have affected me for the better. The notes turned out to do the same thing for them. A couple of the ladies said that the notes really touched them and made their whole day better. Another keeps it at her kitchen window so whenever she is having a bad day she can read it. It was wonderful to hear that by doing this little thing I made them feel good about themselves.
The first twelve women that I chose are very different. But the one thing they all hold in common is that they make me want to be a better person. And for that, I thank them.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
One Amazing Night
OK, all you dirty minded people. I may have left the last part of the story with a bit of a cliffhanger but nothing too naughty happened. In fact I hesitate to write this story. I don't feel that my story telling abilities are good enough to really portray the intense emotion that I was feeling on this occasion. I have mentioned before how totally confused I was by Ryan and my feelings for him. How is it possible to be totally attracted to and repulsed by the same person within a matter of minutes? Because that is exactly what happened this night.
We were sixteen and spending the weekend in Utah at my former church youth-group-leader's house. She had recently moved there and had a group of us kids there to help with moving stuff. We worked that day and then had dinner at Olive Garden. That evening we all sat around talking and enjoying the company. When it came time to disperse for bed, Ryan and I ended up in the living room. I specifically remember Sister Moore saying, "You two can sleep out here. It's Sarah and Ryan - I know nothing will ever happen between you." Apparently she never caught on to the underlying tension between us. We gave each other a knowing look, and agreed with her.
For some reason there was a daybed set up in the living room. Somehow I don't think Sister Moore expected us to sleep in that bed together. We did sleep...eventually...late into the morning.
Once we were all alone we spent a lot of time talking. There were confessions of long held feelings. Ryan told me that he loved me and always had. I don't know what I said back. I might have told him I loved him too. Isn't that what you do? I mean, I certainly felt something for him. Why else would I keep coming back? Why else would he be the standard that I measured every other guy to? Why else would my heart skip a beat whenever I saw him? It has to mean something, right? I think I am going crazy.
We kiss. It was sweet and innocent, but we do it a lot. It feels good. It feels right. Is this what I want?
Later on, after the kissing, Ryan spills some water on his shirt. His bag is in a room with people sleeping in it. So he takes it off and throws it in the dryer for a few minutes. Then he's just standing at the back door - looking out from a darkened room. It's a glass sliding door, and the full moonlight is shining in on his bare chest. He is wearing Dockers and I notice, for the first time, that he has a really nice butt. But mostly I notice his back. It's perfect. Strong shoulders down to a small waist. The moonlight is casting his left half in shadow in a way that his muscles are defined. From that moment on a man's back will be my favorite body part, and they're all compared to his.
I walk over and put my arms around his waist. My cheek rests perfectly between his shoulder blades. I want to stay there forever. I don't want the morning to come. Somehow I just know that it will be different then. It always is.
I can tell you the exact moment when the inevitable "mind switch" was flipped and I couldn't stand him again. It seems so petty and stupid. It's so embarrassing to admit how shallow I was. But, I was.
The way he plopped down in a chair.
He did it in a goofy "I'm a stud" kind of way. That was it. I'm sure he was feeling like a stud. He just had a great night with the girl he loved. I bet he was thinking this was the beginning of something. He was finally going to get his chance. What do I do? I ignore him for the rest of the trip. I don't even ride in the same car back home. I crushed him with no explanation. Not that I had one. What can I say? I didn't like how you sat down in a chair. REALLY? I'm such an idiot.
That was the exact turning point when everything changed for good between us. He went his way (punk) and I went mine (prep). We didn't cross paths again, in a romantic way, until we were eighteen. But even then we still didn't manage to get it right.
We were sixteen and spending the weekend in Utah at my former church youth-group-leader's house. She had recently moved there and had a group of us kids there to help with moving stuff. We worked that day and then had dinner at Olive Garden. That evening we all sat around talking and enjoying the company. When it came time to disperse for bed, Ryan and I ended up in the living room. I specifically remember Sister Moore saying, "You two can sleep out here. It's Sarah and Ryan - I know nothing will ever happen between you." Apparently she never caught on to the underlying tension between us. We gave each other a knowing look, and agreed with her.
For some reason there was a daybed set up in the living room. Somehow I don't think Sister Moore expected us to sleep in that bed together. We did sleep...eventually...late into the morning.
Once we were all alone we spent a lot of time talking. There were confessions of long held feelings. Ryan told me that he loved me and always had. I don't know what I said back. I might have told him I loved him too. Isn't that what you do? I mean, I certainly felt something for him. Why else would I keep coming back? Why else would he be the standard that I measured every other guy to? Why else would my heart skip a beat whenever I saw him? It has to mean something, right? I think I am going crazy.
We kiss. It was sweet and innocent, but we do it a lot. It feels good. It feels right. Is this what I want?
Later on, after the kissing, Ryan spills some water on his shirt. His bag is in a room with people sleeping in it. So he takes it off and throws it in the dryer for a few minutes. Then he's just standing at the back door - looking out from a darkened room. It's a glass sliding door, and the full moonlight is shining in on his bare chest. He is wearing Dockers and I notice, for the first time, that he has a really nice butt. But mostly I notice his back. It's perfect. Strong shoulders down to a small waist. The moonlight is casting his left half in shadow in a way that his muscles are defined. From that moment on a man's back will be my favorite body part, and they're all compared to his.
I walk over and put my arms around his waist. My cheek rests perfectly between his shoulder blades. I want to stay there forever. I don't want the morning to come. Somehow I just know that it will be different then. It always is.
I can tell you the exact moment when the inevitable "mind switch" was flipped and I couldn't stand him again. It seems so petty and stupid. It's so embarrassing to admit how shallow I was. But, I was.
The way he plopped down in a chair.
He did it in a goofy "I'm a stud" kind of way. That was it. I'm sure he was feeling like a stud. He just had a great night with the girl he loved. I bet he was thinking this was the beginning of something. He was finally going to get his chance. What do I do? I ignore him for the rest of the trip. I don't even ride in the same car back home. I crushed him with no explanation. Not that I had one. What can I say? I didn't like how you sat down in a chair. REALLY? I'm such an idiot.
That was the exact turning point when everything changed for good between us. He went his way (punk) and I went mine (prep). We didn't cross paths again, in a romantic way, until we were eighteen. But even then we still didn't manage to get it right.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I'm Not So Bad After All
I was at church alone with my three kids (husband is in the middle of NIGHTMARE semester) for the fourth week in a row this last Sunday. I was feeling stressed and a bit overwhelmed. My kids were not behaving badly, but I was already on edge so every tiny thing they did was magnified in my mind. As I sat there trying really hard to control Alana and my temper, people started to bear their testimony's. One man got up and simply said that he "didn't think he was doing enough" to be a good example of our church. I didn't hear the rest of his testimony because as soon as he said that I thought, "I KNOW I am not doing enough!". At that point I started to list all my faults.
*Not reading my scriptures enough
*Not praying enough
*Not teaching my kids enough
*Not attending the temple enough
*and on and on
You get the idea. It's been a rough few months.
As soon as I got done listing some of my faults I thought, "I go to church every Sunday and I do my best to fulfill my calling (primary teacher). That is just going to have to be enough right now." At that exact moment I felt the Spirit ignite in my heart like I have rarely felt before. The impression that I got is that I have been too hard on myself. I need to be focusing on the things that I am doing right and not on the things I need to improve on. There will be a time in my life when I can diligently read my scriptures every single day. When I can get to the temple once a month and feel the sacred spirit that is there. There will be time to focus on just me and my relationship with my Savior. For me, that time is not now.
Please don't misunderstand. I have a strong testimony of my Savior and the sacrifice that he made for me. I have a desire to learn and grow, to experience everything that I can in the gospel. But I feel overwhelmed with life at the moment. My kids are at ages where we are a bit crazy. McKenna and Evan are at different schools, attending at different times, in different parts of the city. I easily spend two and a half hours in the car just taking kids to and from school everyday. Between school, dance, soccer, gym, shopping, cleaning, cooking and some kid playtime, I feel totally booked up. I can't wait for next school year when Evan and McKenna are in the same school and I only have to drop off and pick up once. I have daydreams of what I will do with all that extra time. Someday.....
I am a good mother. I love my kids dearly and I do my best for them. I am making small changes to better myself and to be a stronger example to them. I am not perfect and I never will be, but I will continue to want to be better.
I know my Heavenly Father loves me. He knows who I am and what I need. He understands the feelings in my heart and He knew what I needed to hear.
It's time to focus on the things I am doing right.
*Not reading my scriptures enough
*Not praying enough
*Not teaching my kids enough
*Not attending the temple enough
*and on and on
You get the idea. It's been a rough few months.
As soon as I got done listing some of my faults I thought, "I go to church every Sunday and I do my best to fulfill my calling (primary teacher). That is just going to have to be enough right now." At that exact moment I felt the Spirit ignite in my heart like I have rarely felt before. The impression that I got is that I have been too hard on myself. I need to be focusing on the things that I am doing right and not on the things I need to improve on. There will be a time in my life when I can diligently read my scriptures every single day. When I can get to the temple once a month and feel the sacred spirit that is there. There will be time to focus on just me and my relationship with my Savior. For me, that time is not now.
Please don't misunderstand. I have a strong testimony of my Savior and the sacrifice that he made for me. I have a desire to learn and grow, to experience everything that I can in the gospel. But I feel overwhelmed with life at the moment. My kids are at ages where we are a bit crazy. McKenna and Evan are at different schools, attending at different times, in different parts of the city. I easily spend two and a half hours in the car just taking kids to and from school everyday. Between school, dance, soccer, gym, shopping, cleaning, cooking and some kid playtime, I feel totally booked up. I can't wait for next school year when Evan and McKenna are in the same school and I only have to drop off and pick up once. I have daydreams of what I will do with all that extra time. Someday.....
I am a good mother. I love my kids dearly and I do my best for them. I am making small changes to better myself and to be a stronger example to them. I am not perfect and I never will be, but I will continue to want to be better.
I know my Heavenly Father loves me. He knows who I am and what I need. He understands the feelings in my heart and He knew what I needed to hear.
It's time to focus on the things I am doing right.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Years of Memories
I considered Ryan and I to be very close friends. While we both moved on to other relationships and the years passed by, we didn't lose track of each other (at least not for a few more years). Because we were in the same church ward we did a lot together, but we also hung out regularly. My father was a Boy Scout leader for a while and he would take me on some of the activities that Ryan did (I have a very cool dad). We went skiing, rock climbing, caving and hiking together. Our group of friends spent a lot of time at Flaming Gorge (a lake/reservoir) jumping off cliffs and hanging out. There were even a few times that Ryan and Corey came over to my house in the middle of the night and I snuck out with them. We ran around town dodging the cops and climbing water towers. We had a blast. It was obvious, even then, that we had a ton in common and we played off each other really well. We had the kind of friendship/connection that I have never had with anyone else. But, as time moved on we both changed.
When I was 15 I had my first serious boyfriend. Ryan hated him simply because he was my boyfriend. That's when things started to shift with us. We still had that 'tension' between us, like there was something that we hadn't finished. But we never managed to figure anything out. After the almost-one-day relationship, Ryan was too insecure to make a move, and I wasn't willing to take that leap. So we didn't address it. I started spending most of my time with Josh (we dated for a little over a year). Ryan had other girls come and go.
As an illustration of the awkward attraction, there were times (while I was dating Josh) that I would hang out with Ryan and cuddle with him exactly the way a boyfriend and girlfriend would. There was never any question in my mind about Ryan wanting to. It was just one of those things that naturally was - no discussion needed. One time we even watched the sunrise together and discussed what our honeymoon(s?) would be like, including our wedding night(s?). (nothing explicit - we were INNOCENT!) We wound up staring into each other's eyes from a few inches away as the sun came up - all alone out in the hills. At no point during that time did we kiss. Ryan later said that 'guy law' prevented him from making a move. Truth is, he was just too scared. Looking back, he was right to be. I would have kissed him. But I wouldn't have left Josh for him. (Don't judge! Being a teenage girl is confusing business.)
By the time we hit Sophomore year we were on totally different paths. You could see it just by looking at us. I went the more preppy/popular route. I was never really popular, but that was the crowd I ran with. I had a new best friend who was popular. I was very vanilla and boring. I didn't stand out in any way and I didn't want to. I was more than happy just blending in. I stayed active in my church and hung out with my new friends. I had a few different boyfriends, but never anyone serious.
My previous best friend, Nikki, was not into popularity - she went punk. And eventually she and Ryan became best friends and he went punk too. At one point he had a purple and silver mohawk and yellow spray-painted combat boots (it was the 90's after all). He didn't care about school. He partied with his friends all the time and listened to Nine Inch Nails and NOFX. On the flip side, he was on the debate team and was cleaning house all around the state. He even went to nationals (twice). He was super smart even then.
We didn't avoid or ignore each other, but we didn't hang out much any more. I was considered a traitor, if you will, because I went preppy and left them. I still think I made the right choice. Even then, I knew that if I ever needed Ryan that I could go to him and he would be there for me. We still had that understanding.
When I moved in the middle of our Junior year he was one of the few people that I sought out to say goodbye to. However, six months before I moved we had one amazing night together....
When I was 15 I had my first serious boyfriend. Ryan hated him simply because he was my boyfriend. That's when things started to shift with us. We still had that 'tension' between us, like there was something that we hadn't finished. But we never managed to figure anything out. After the almost-one-day relationship, Ryan was too insecure to make a move, and I wasn't willing to take that leap. So we didn't address it. I started spending most of my time with Josh (we dated for a little over a year). Ryan had other girls come and go.
As an illustration of the awkward attraction, there were times (while I was dating Josh) that I would hang out with Ryan and cuddle with him exactly the way a boyfriend and girlfriend would. There was never any question in my mind about Ryan wanting to. It was just one of those things that naturally was - no discussion needed. One time we even watched the sunrise together and discussed what our honeymoon(s?) would be like, including our wedding night(s?). (nothing explicit - we were INNOCENT!) We wound up staring into each other's eyes from a few inches away as the sun came up - all alone out in the hills. At no point during that time did we kiss. Ryan later said that 'guy law' prevented him from making a move. Truth is, he was just too scared. Looking back, he was right to be. I would have kissed him. But I wouldn't have left Josh for him. (Don't judge! Being a teenage girl is confusing business.)
By the time we hit Sophomore year we were on totally different paths. You could see it just by looking at us. I went the more preppy/popular route. I was never really popular, but that was the crowd I ran with. I had a new best friend who was popular. I was very vanilla and boring. I didn't stand out in any way and I didn't want to. I was more than happy just blending in. I stayed active in my church and hung out with my new friends. I had a few different boyfriends, but never anyone serious.
My previous best friend, Nikki, was not into popularity - she went punk. And eventually she and Ryan became best friends and he went punk too. At one point he had a purple and silver mohawk and yellow spray-painted combat boots (it was the 90's after all). He didn't care about school. He partied with his friends all the time and listened to Nine Inch Nails and NOFX. On the flip side, he was on the debate team and was cleaning house all around the state. He even went to nationals (twice). He was super smart even then.
We didn't avoid or ignore each other, but we didn't hang out much any more. I was considered a traitor, if you will, because I went preppy and left them. I still think I made the right choice. Even then, I knew that if I ever needed Ryan that I could go to him and he would be there for me. We still had that understanding.
When I moved in the middle of our Junior year he was one of the few people that I sought out to say goodbye to. However, six months before I moved we had one amazing night together....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)